Singapore, Sufism & Sexual Assault – Your Friday Sermon

Hey fellow Muslims,

Never thought I would write those words in the same sentence.
But if that finally got your attention, good. Because this one concerns you.

The last few days I have been crying blood that our Muslim community is facing an epidemic moral crisis. One that no one wants to address :

The abuse of authority, influence, power and position by Muslim religious and community figures where sexual harassment, assault and abuse is concerned. 

When it comes to the subject of sexual allegations, the majority of Muslims are ignorant.
You think it is all about police reports and evidence & that should be the way to deal with it – and that too, if you were amongst the rare few to get over the cognitive dissonance & denial.

You say it is Aib. A private affair. It is non of our business.

And that’s the funniest part. That you, yes you – you think you have nothing to do with this. That if you were to “leave it to Allah”, you are being righteous.

Well I hate to be the bearer of bad news for this one but it will be a disservice to the faith I believe in, if I don’t tell you the reality.

That if you believe in Allah and if you believe in everything His final messenger sent forth – this IS your business.
I assure you that Allah did not make you a vicegerent on earth to merely eat and shit in it. Or to witness injustice & oppression and assume it has nothing to do with you.
The Prophet’s death AND life is in vain if you sit here & tell me that this gross miscarriage of injustice by our Muslim leaders has no bearing on your accountability to Allah.

But how do we hold our leaders accountable? In fact, who should hold Muslim religious and community leaders accountable?

And are they on the same level of accountability as the rest of the community?
Will Allah judge them with a different standard of accountability?

How did our Prophet (pbuh) and our Sahabas (pbut) dealt with Muslim religious and community leaders?

Are there un-refuted answers  to these questions?


And now we’ve come to the part where I bring you glad tidings from your Lord.

In order to full understand the gravity of what we are dealing with and what your role is as a Muslim (so you don’t stand before Allah filled with regret), I am going to break  this entire thing down for you and will be Islam-splaining  in the simplest way possible.

So simple that even if you are consumed with extreme ignorance on this subject or you are the religious leader that’s committing abuse or you’re just a hater, you will understand the crisis we are in.

But you see, because the scale of what we are getting into is massive, (I mean, we’re talking about your favourite Sidis, Shaykhs, Imams, CEOs, Directors, Muftis of the top tariqahs and institutions and islamic centres and community leaders etc etc involved in some of the worst forms of abuse towards girls, women, boys and men. Oh & I have photos, videos, emails and recordings… Gah!) I will need more than one blog post.

As such, I will be releasing multiple videos to fully tear this down once and for all.
To make Muslim leadership great again.
To make our community great again.

The videos will appear in succession meaning if you don’t watch part 1, you cannot be an audience for part 2. And if you don’t watch part 1 and 2, you won’t understand part 3.
You have to watch them in order and in it’s entirety. It’s the least you can do to revive your community.

Enough talk.
Brace yourselves. Watch these videos. Share it & get everyone on board.

Our Prophet (pbuh) and the Muslims before us did what they had to for their generation and the Muslims who will come after them.
We must do what we can for our generation and those who will come after we’re gone.

Bravely yours,

Muslim Religious & Community Leaders and the Abuse of Power
Part 1:
Part 2:
Part 3: *will be updated soon*

PS: How will you know when the next video is out?
I’ll announce it here.



The Fall of Sisterhood

Hey Girls, 

It has only been a week since I started #BeingBravelyWoman. Only one week since that excitement of choosing which colours to fit the brand, which social media platforms to use, what type of content to create.. etc

But today –  a week later, it feels like that was a lifetime away.

Every now and then, I get attacked by men – accusing me of advocating for something that does not exists because all creations are equal. I don’t know what you think of the word feminism – because it is loaded and perhaps even, tainted – so let’s not use that word .
But the struggle of women is real. This struggle is not a zero sum game. It does not mean men are not suffering. But depending on the context we talk about, a lot of the times, the ones suffering to a large extent are – women.

But the worst part about this work is not the attack by men. It is having to sit down and realise just how many women, are trying to diminish the struggles of other women. It is having to face the reality, that some of us have been hurt by far more women than men in our lives.

Of course it isn’t fair to assume that all women should like one another and be willing to braid each other’s hair while we sing to Spice Girls – ‘Wannabe.’
The hurt and betrayal I am referring to here is something far more sophisticated -calculated almost.

It is the conscious effort to put down a fellow sister – just because. The meticulous planning to get her into situations she will struggle to get out from. It is the sadistic happiness of seeing her downfall. The joy when she cries or is in pain. The silent smile when she falls.

Women are the first to judge another woman. Don’t believe me? Ask any woman who has been through motherhood. Ask her about the time she got pregnant. Ask her about how her decisions for her unborn baby was judged. Ask her how many women questioned her when she chose to /or did not choose to breastfeed. Ask a new mother how other mothers judge her for the way she is trying to raise her child.
Go on, I’ll wait.

Pregnancy and motherhood is very much a woman’s world. Not as many men in that field. But it is possibly the most judgemental environment and phase of a women’s life.

Girls and women like this exist everywhere. In our schools. I was bullied more by the girls in my school than the guys. Girls who made me feel I was ugly. Some of the worst bullying cases against females can be found in all girls schools. The harassment and emotional abuse is enough to make a young girl take her life. Or at least attempt to.
True story.

You find these women amongst colleagues at work too. The backstabbing, The bitching. The manipulation. The lies. The pretence. The fake smiles and concern.

And why are mother-in laws and daughter-in laws always at war? Of course there are exceptions. But think about this. Yes I am sure there are cases of father-in laws and son-in laws not getting along. But the former takes the cake. Why has this vicious age old cycle not ended? What have the daughter-in laws who suffered in the hands of their MILs not end the cycle?

As a woman – no forget that, as a human, it is so important to have a supportive female environment. It’s been two months since I’ve moved to Oman with my husband. I have zero community here except for my husband. And don’t get me wrong, he is great company – in fact, the best. I love doing everything and anything with him. Yet, it felt like something was empty. It was only after sitting in a company of women, talking about everything from religion to sports to female biology, community expectations, current affairs, history, politics etc – and came out from that feeling refreshed and glowing with new energy – that I realised what was missing all along.

There is nothing in the world that can replace the powerful, positive energy of a sisterhood. Even if it is just one woman in your circle.

Toxic female energy exists. They bring other women down. Don’t be one of them.

Bravely Yours, 

The Gratitude Post


Omg. My first ever post after 5 years. Wow.

Anyway, I am going to dive right in! For my post, I want to give you something tangible you can start doing right now in your lives!
This blog is not going to be about words that will forever end up on the internet – no!
I want to share practices that we can actually apply in our lives right here, right now and see the difference it is making, while we journey together.

So here’s starting with something I strongly believe in, that has helped me in gazillion ways. I swear. This is such a powerful life tool that I wish I can shout on an earth loudspeaker so it reaches every living soul.

So….what exactly is this powerful magic?

No lah, no magic. It’s super halal.

Give thanks! It is as simple as that.


Before we go any further and you think I just watched ‘The Secret’ so I am all fired up – let’s bring in the science and data on gratitude.

In positive psychology research, gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness. Gratitude helps people feel more positive, remember good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity and build strong relationships.

Two psychologists, Dr. Robert Emmons of the University of California & Dr. Michael McCullough of the University of Miami, have done plenty of research in this.

In one study, they asked participants to write a few sentences each week, focusing on particular topics.

One group wrote about things they were grateful for. A second group wrote about daily irritations or things that displeased them, and the third wrote about events that had affected them (with no emphasis on them being positive or negative).
After 10 weeks, those who wrote about gratitude were more optimistic and felt better about their lives. Surprisingly, they also exercised more and had fewer visits to physicians than the latter two groups.

Of course, studies such as this one cannot prove cause and effect. But the fact is – most of the studies published on this topic support an association between gratitude and an individual’s well-being.


The act of giving thanks is immensely powerful. I simply cannot emphasise this enough. It puts you in a place where there is zero negativity. Because you are being 100% positive. You are saying thank you. You are counting your blessings. You are grateful. You are appreciating the goodness is your life. It does not mean there is nothing bad in your life or you don’t have problems you are currently dealing with- but, at this particular moment of giving thanks, you are choosing to acknowledge the good stuff.

Most of you know my story by now. Through this blog, I am definitely going to share a lot more. But I’ve been through my share of darkness and pain. From being sexually abused at a tender age of 4, to experiencing bullying, to watching my family fall apart to not having a place to call home to being so broke that I couldn’t even afford to eat.

But the day I started practicing gratitude – like real gratitude. Truly and deeply thanking God for the little and big things that lit up my day – things actually changed. And I can’t explain how or what or the way this works to you. Because, truth be told. It is beyond me.  All I know is that it works. My life isn’t perfect now either but I’ll tell you something – when you get into the habit of practising gratitude – you have more perfect moments than you can count.

So ladies, how exactly do you begin to practice this?

  1. Write it down. On a piece of paper. On your notes in your phone. Whatsapp yourself. You can do this anytime, anywhere.
  2. Meditate. So this is more of a mental note taking. Find a quiet space and time. Close your eyes. And literally visualise what you are giving thanks for.
  3. Pray. I personally do a mix of 3 and 1. Also, because my prayers are timed, I pick one of the prayers and take a moment to give thanks.

When is the best time?
The more you give thanks, the more powerful this becomes. So what you really need to do is to make this a habit. You can do it on the train or bus on your way to work. First thing you do when you wake up or last thing before going to bed. Even if it is just one thing you are going to acknowledge.

Who do you give thanks to?
By default, gratitude connects you to something larger than yourself— whether to the universe, other people, nature, or a higher power.
You are recognising that the source of that goodness lies at outside of you.
Pick your source and direct it there.

What do I give thanks for?
Anything. Everything. It can be as abstract as the earth we live in and the clean air we breathe or as specific as finally getting the right foundation shade. And if ever you think you have nothing else to give thanks for,  my uncle taught me something I would never forget. He said, don’t just thank God for what He gave you. Thank Him for what He did not give you as well. Boom.

Trust your girl and just try this. Grab a friend ie gratitude buddy, to remind each other. And if you start practicing this, I honestly want to know how you feel in a week!

Bravely yours, 




Source: Harvard Health Publishing

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